Patient Spotlight: Heather Smith, Denver CO
We interviewed our member and ‘living and thriving with lung cancer’ advocate, Heather Smith, on living a full, fulfilling life in the ‘new normal’ of a lung cancer diagnosis.
1. Can you share a little about your journey with lung cancer?
I was diagnosed at 34 years old with Stage IV with metastasis to my brain and my ovaries. My cancer was found incidentally as I was getting my health checked out to start a family with my wife. I was mis-diagnosed for the first few months while my primary care doctor eliminated the "normal" causes of a cough I had developed. That was four years ago. I remember crying and thinking how lucky I was to have a genetic mutation (watch out teenage mutant ninja turtles!) because my treatment did not immediately involve a traditional chemo route.
I kind of floated through my first three years - and have come to believe that I was dissociated from myself. I did my best to figure out how to live with my diagnosis. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time.
In August 2019, I had disease progression after a line of treatment didn't do the best job keeping my cancer in check. My brain metastasis came back with a vengeance and I suffered from three seizures, which left me hospitalized with 8 stitches in my scalp after my wife administered aid because I tumbled to our concrete patio.
When I woke up in the hospital I knew that something had to change - that I didn't want to merely survive my cancer diagnosis, but that I wanted to thrive with cancer. So, I dug deep and set myself on a new path - to become the best advocate I could be, and to help my fellow cancer patients to connect with themselves, by building a bridge between Western science and body, mind and soul wellness. I started to build my own bridge and feel confident today that I can withstand disease progression and the fact that I'm on my last line of treatment -- facing all these adversities fully empowered and knowing I'm living my best life as a kick a** cancer thriver!
It all started with one small promise I made to myself: to move my body daily. Since then, I've incorporated yoga, meditation, acupuncture and reiki into my health routine and it has absolutely empowered me to say confidently I am thriving with cancer.
2. What advice would you give a newly-diagnosed patient? What do you know now that you wish you knew back then?
I have three pieces of advice:
1) Support your body: You are given one body to journey through life with - and anything that you can do to move it daily is so important. Go outside, take a walk - get stronger, increase your heartbeat. All these things keep you present in your body. When you are present in your body, you aren't flying away to a place of fear.
2) Support your mind: While you may have a wonderful support system at home, it is so important to add to that by getting to a support group (that you find supportive and helpful - be wary though! They can be scary and overwhelming!), find a cancer friend, find a therapist. You should absolutely have someone outside of your immediate circle to talk to, someone who is neutral or can hold space for you while you digest the news of your diagnosis.
3) Support your emotions: However you are feeling is exactly the right way to feel. Feel it the whole way through - repressing your emotions (and it might be all the emotions in one second, one hour, one week) is not helpful. Trust me, I know. Give yourself the opportunity to feel them all, scream, cry, rage, nap. Whatever you need. And please, give yourself the opportunity to grieve the life you thought you would have. Make it something ceremonial so you feel a sense of closure.
You are about to enter a new phase of life, and it seems so ugly at first, but there are so many valuable things you can learn and share with your loved ones: finding strength, resilience and empowering yourself.
3. How are you experiencing living in your ‘new normal’ after diagnosis? Any wisdom you would like to share?
Oh, the phrase new normal. This one always makes me laugh. I've heard it over and over again as things have changed. I learned that your new normal can be something that is fluid and constantly changing! Instead of trying to swim against the current, try to swim with the current. Identify the things that make you feel stable - give those things your time. I feel the most stable when I stick to a routine, and it isn't boring, but frees me to enjoy the things that really deserve it! Get a realistic view about the new things and the old things -- and ask yourself 'does this work for me today'? For me, I had to let go of a lot of my perfectionism because it was eating up mental and emotional energy! Create boundaries to help you feel supported. I knew that I didn't want to talk about cancer in the bedroom. There are some people who get unrestricted access to cancer conversations- but others do not. Recognize that your new normal will be fluid, and that's okay! New medications, new side effects, new doctors -- all things can and will change! Lastly, show yourself some grace. None of us know how to cope with a new normal. Be kind to yourself and tell yourself "it's okay to not feel good, or to feel good. Whatever I am feeling is okay!"
4. You have written and blogged a lot about living and even thriving in the ‘new normal’. Have you found anything that has been particularly helpful in your journey, (e.g. diet, exercise, meditation etc.)?
I truly believe there is power in weaving together who you were before diagnosis, with who you are as a cancer patient, and who you want to become in the future. Building a bridge between Heather the cancer patient and Heather the kick ass cancer thriver has been the most helpful thing. It took me a while to figure it out - through yoga, meditation, reiki and reading a lot of self help books. It wasn't until I started talking to some of my fellow cancer patients about what they were going through, that I realized I had learned a lot and that it is my purpose to share it - so no one has to struggle through the muck like I did!
So, start with one small promise to yourself to get your body moving - and let that be the catapult to take you from surviving cancer to truly thriving with cancer!
If you are interested in more, check out my blog www.livingliveswithlungcancer.com!
AUTHOR: Christina Weber
Kayla Hatle (L) and Heather Smith (R)
Patient Spotlight