Juggling a Young Family While Dealing With a Cancer Diagnosis

When someone receives a cancer diagnosis, the entire family is affected. In this quick review, we highlight several aspects of juggling a family while dealing with a cancer diagnosis.

What and how should we tell the kids? How much should they be involved?

Honesty is the best way to deal with a cancer diagnosis. When a parent is not feeling well or needs to visit the doctor’s office, even young children can sense that something is ‘not right.’ There are booklets and resources for parents to learn how to have a safe, candid discussion with children with an emphasis on how to speak to them at his/her level. Do they express their emotions better through an art project or is a sit down-style discussion more engaging for them? It is important to validate their feelings, whether these are being scared or confused. During treatment, keeping them engaged and connected with the parent is important. Involving them with simple tasks may be appropriate, such as “bring me a glass of water”. Maintaining open communication and dialogue is key to having a healthy family life and creating wonderful memories even in difficult times.

Teenagers are already at a difficult stage in their life; they may be more sensitive and may feel that they are alone. One way to help teenagers cope is to keep their social network alive. Keeping a routine is beneficial. Being hopeful may alleviate some anxiety, but keep it at a realistic level. At this age, they may want to be more involved in helping to take care of the parent and learning more about the cancer diagnosis. For example, they might want to help cook dinner or take care of their siblings more.

A wonderful resource for families is Camp Kesem, a free summer camp for children ages 6-19 whose parents have been affected by cancer. Camp Kesem began in the year 2000 at Stanford University and has expanded to 116 chapters located across the United States. Kids join one another in a fun and supportive summer camp environment with activities facilitated by the participating universities.

How can we deal with legal issues?

Legal issues can be another big topic to tackle. This large umbrella includes topics such as advance health directives, power of attorney for financial decisions, will, and guardianship for children. These are topics that need to be addressed by the patient and their spouse/partner/other parent. These discussions are vital for a family to have.

What about the bills?

There are numerous online resources to help with finances. There are local and nationally-based organizations that help with travel, hotel stays for hospital visits, and may even offer legal help with work issues should they arise. ALK Positive has a Second Opinion Program providing grants to consult an ALK expert oncologist for a second opinion. There are co-pay assistance programs to help pay for medicine such as on www.alecensa.com. For some, it might be beneficial to look into eligibility for social security disability benefits. If working, reach out to your HR department to learn about your options.

Where can I find resources for emotional support?

If everything is becoming overwhelming, a patient advocate may help. They can provide caring and firm support to help patients navigate all the ups and downs of their illness. There are many local and national groups that can help, including resources for children. Local cancer support groups can offer emotional guidance and other resources in the community. One such national group is called Cancer Support Community. There are also online support groups such as ALK Positive, cancercare.org, and inspire.com. These are all resources to learn from, communicate with, and get support from. Always remember, you are NOT ALONE!

A very comprehensive review by American Cancer Society:

https://www.cancer.org/treatment/children-and-cancer/when-a-family-member-has-cancer.html

https://www.cancercare.org/publications/22-helping_children_when_a_family_member_has_cancer

Camp Kesem

https://www.campkesem.org/

Teens

https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/caregiver-support/teens

https://www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/when-your-parent-has-cancer.pdf

https://www.cancercare.org/publications/51-helping_teenagers_when_a_parent_has_cancer

Legal matters

https://www.livestrong.org/we-can-help/managing-your-life-during-treatment/important-legal-decisions

Caregiver support